I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
when am I going to realize that no matter how many times I scream “no” at my tv the story line isn’t going to change.
so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever
and then i checked their names
they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD
WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS